Ok I was not abducted by aliens!!!!!!
To all of my faithful readers I am still alive. Real life has been very umm hectic. There is a lot going on right now and I was not ready to share it with the world. But now I think I can. I have decided to seek a divorce. I have found that the issuse Steve and I have had over the last 8 years are just to much. I no longer wish to be unhappy. And yes there is something else as well. (Isn't there always???) I have fallen in love with someone else. I did not go looking for this other relationship it just sort of happend upon me. I don't wish to go into all the details at this time but I am going to say that I feel this is the right choice for me. I did a lot of soul searching and have concluded that this is the best decision for my family. I have made this choice on my own. I have not spoken to my family about it until I was set with what I needed to do for me. I have been seeing my shrink and still on my meds. And this still for me is the best choice. I love my family and I am deeply hurt at the fact that this will be yet one more dissapointment in the long list of dissapointments I have given them. But it is something I need to do. I can no longer be in a marriage that has neither trust nor love. And has only pain and anger. I am not placing blame and I know my mistakes and they are not few and far between. I do believe that this relationship is over. I will be the best parent I can be to my kids but I can't do that in this marriage. I would like to apolgize to my family. I am sorry I have let you down, yet again, I am sorry I can't be what you want me to be, I can only be true to myself which it is about time I started doing that. I think that is all I have to say for now. I'll try to post again but I will be a bit scarce because I am so very busy at the moment.

posted by Lady_Indigo 5:20 PM

You are 43% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

posted by Lady_Indigo 1:24 AM

posted by Lady_Indigo 1:09 AM

And one last item:

posted by Lady_Indigo 7:08 AM

Goodbye
We are leaving for vacation in a few short hours. I have to finish packing my stuff. I think everything else is done.
List time:
-Bathroom stuff
-medicines
-clothes
-books
-sandals and sneakers
I think that about covers it.

Thoughts

Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are.
Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

The flower you single out is a rejection of all other flowers; nevertheless only on these terms is it beautiful.
Saint Exupery

Life is strewn with so many dangers, and can be the source of so many misfortunes, that death is not the greatest of them.
Napoleon

Human nature is so constructed that it gives affection most readily to those who seem least to demand it.
Bertrand Russell

Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.
Epictetus

Ok that is all I have time for. I must get my self in gear. I hope everyone has a great week. I'll be back in about a week. Bye Bye

posted by Lady_Indigo 7:05 AM

posted by Lady_Indigo 5:16 PM

Insights

He who becomes angry becomes cool again.
Greek Proverb

Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?
Confucius

Everything comes gradually and at it's appointed hour.
Ovid

Love is a tyrant sparing none.
Corneille

I'll try to write more later. I am going to take a nap now.

posted by Lady_Indigo 5:03 PM

Feel the Burn
ok so the skin on my arm is getting ready to peel. Thanks to my sweat inducing workout. I did the EFX for 35min. (3 miles) and I walked on the treadmill for about 20 min. I wasn't feeling well after my afternoon nap but I went anyway. Haley came with me and went swimming. Once my skin heals I think I'll go swimming too.

Things of note
-I am stuck at 118lbs.
-my throat hurts
-I haven't had a headache in over a week
-I have the most wonderful IRL friends a girl could ask for
-I am very sleepy
-not tired

Things I don't understand
How is it that the CEO's of large companies feel it is their right to spend money on themselves that isn't theirs? I mean isn't their million dollar bonuses enough. What are they doing with all that money. Apparently running a large corp. isn't all that time consuming and they have time to spend all that money. How do they sleep at night???

The case of the little boy
I wrote about the little boy, Quincy, who was starved to death earlier last week. Well his "parents" are being held on $100,000 bail each. The judge refused a reduction and the formal arraignment is set for Sept.24. You can read more here if you like.

The kids are fighting a lot today. This is not good. Cameron is being very sly and ummm... creative in getting his own way. Haley is just complaining about everything.

I give up and I am going to go hide in my room now while they fight it out. Calgon take me away............

posted by Lady_Indigo 9:31 PM

I am all set
I've got my Advil (yes the real stuff go corp. america)
I've got my heating gel pack
As soon as I am done with this post I will be resting easily in bed, hopefully reading a book

If you are thinking I bailed on the Y tonight you are correct. I came home and went to bed. I was very sleepy.

I still am. Ok off to rest the aching shoulder and the sunburn that is killing me. Is there a rock available that I may crawl under and die beneath???

posted by Lady_Indigo 9:12 PM

Final post of the day
It sure was nice to have a day off. I went to the Y tonight. I only had about 40 min. to workout. But that is better than no time at all. I guess I shall go to bed soon. Goodnight all.

posted by Lady_Indigo 9:15 PM

I've got my base burn now
Who would have thought that 2.5 hrs in the sun could burn you?? Well I guess if you are pale and pasty white 5 miin. will due the trick. I have a most intresting tan/burn now. Seeing as how I did not wear my suit I only wore shorts and a sleeveless shirt. I'll be fine by tomorrow. It isn't a bad burn just a little pink.

Bloody Noses Galore
Cameron's nose has begun to bleed again. He has a few in the past week. Perhaps I'll consult with his docotr when we get back about having that vein cauterized(sp?).

Stuff to do
I found somethings to do while on vacation. There are a few gardens and such in the local area that I would like to visit. Also I could work on my B&W photography. There are also dinner theaters thiat might be neat. As well as some unique shops and such. It will be fine. I will have a good time.

And for the rest of the evening...

-trip to the Y
-general picking up of house (will delegate to kids)
-dinner (burgers on grill)

posted by Lady_Indigo 5:27 PM

What to do today??
I don't really have a plan for today. I did the library thing yesterday, so that is now taken care of. I guess I should pack my clothes and the kids clothes as well. I'll make my usual trip to the Y tonight. Also I suppose I should clean the kitchen. As well as the bathrooms. Yuck I am not in a cleaning mood.

Is it time to call the dr. yet??
Ok so I was up for an hour massaging(sp?) my shoulder last night at 2am. Should I call now or wait till I get back. It could just be stress that is making it hurt. Not to mention the huge knot in neck shoulder area. I don't usually whine so much about things like this. I am use to the intense pain of migraines and continuing my day. But this is causing me not to be able to function very well as I am not left handed and it is my right arm that I can't move much. Maybe the Advil will help and I can get on with my day. No more whining.

Camblina
I told Cam it was time to go to bed. (he has been sleeping on the couch with Haley as of late) (yes Haley has a bed but we have been letting them watch tv till whatever time the fall asleep) Anyway, I went up to bed and there was a Camblina in it. What a surprise. He stayed there all night. When I got in he rolled over to me and snuggled up to me, which was where he stayed all night. When Steve came home and came up to bed, he rolled Cam over to him and Cam rolled back to me (10 points for the Mommy!)

Haley Bailey
She has been dealing with Cameron very well this summer, overall. They have their moments of less than stellar behavior but on the whole it is good. I can't believe she is going to be in 6th grade this year. She is growing up so fast. She is turinng into a very thoughtful young lady. She is always thinking of things to make and do for her friends a family members. Now if only I could get her to keep her room clean.

Restitution
I started my day off with scrambled eggs and toast. There will be no junk food today. Which I don't see as a problem anyway, since we have none in the house.

I think I am going to go back to bed for a bit. I am very sleepy. Perhaps later I will work on my other web page, as I have been neglecting it as of late.

posted by Lady_Indigo 8:50 AM

No fines
Well we managed to get everything back to the library without delay this time. I picked out another Douglas Adams book Dirk Gently's Holistic Dective Agency. I am taking this to the beach with me in addition to his other book The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul. Also for my reading pleasure I'll be taking Stephen King's Dreamcatcher, which I have only been trying to finish for the last 6 months. Included as well is Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha, which is a very good read. I have read half of this already. Last but not least Marion Zimmer-Bradley's Priestess of Avalon, this one is about the story of Helena and her life, being bannished from Avalon and the birth and life of her son Constantine. I also checked out several CD's and Ayn Rands Atlas Shrugged (on audio). Another great book by a totaly awesome philosopher and writer. Boy am I going to be busy.

The Beach
Ok I think I have everything I need. New sandals, a few new clothing items, lots of reading material, comfortable beach chair, suntan lotion. Humm I wonder if I should start taking whole pills of Celexa now or the day we leave??? I am going to try and not complain. I will be a good girl and enjoy my family. It doesn't matter if I would rather be seeing the beautiful Irish country side, visiting old castles and drinking hot chocolate in a quaint Irish pub overlooking some breathtaking view. I will have fun at the beach and surrounding area. I promise to be on my best behavior. I want my family to be happy, but ( isn't there always a but?) I hate the beach! Not to mention the timing is awful. I should be heading into my "I don't want to be a girl anymore" week. Ok enough complaining.

The Arm
Is taking 8 Advil in 4 hours a bad thing? I haven't taken any since 9:30 this morning. But I will be taking some before bed. I skipped out on the gym tonight and opted for a nap. I think I should probably look for the heating pad. My whole shoulder including my neck is tight and quite tender. I had actually considered some type of muscle relaxer but alas I am out of wine coolers :-P

I have been craving nothing but....fat
I figured it out today when I had this awful craving for Reese's peanut butter cups. Not to mention the huge toast binge I have been on. It is the fat my boday is craving. I don't want sugar I want fat. I thought I was doing ok by having eggs and bacon 5-6 times a week but either I failed or it is just my body prepping for the next week.

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to trust something that can bleed for a week and not die???

On that note I will end for now. Goodnight.

posted by Lady_Indigo 9:06 PM

One last thing
I did go to the Y today. But only for a half an hour. But I did a harder workout on the EFX. Today has been a bad food day also. Not that I have eaten anything paticulalry bad but I have eaten more than usual and more carbs also. Maybe I'll cook myself some nice eggs for dinner since I missed my usual eggs and bacon brunch :-(.

posted by Lady_Indigo 5:18 PM

Camping.....UGH!!!!!
We are getting our camping gear together today. I will say for the last and final (is that redundent?) time, I hate camping. I hate going to the beach. I am only doing this for my family. Ok enough ranting. You may be wondering how anybody could hate the beach and campiing. Well let me 'splain it to you Lucy. The sun induces horriffic migraines. Not to mention that lovely shade of fire engine red suntan, and for a person who has not been out in the sun for over a decade this does not sound appealing. (was that a run on sentance?) Ok what else...oh yes how could I forget the sand. It is gritty, gets into everything and everywhere and is not very fun. I hate sweating and feeling gross and gritty. Perhaps if we were going to stay in a condo I wouldn't be so negative about it all.

moving on...

Score at the flea market
I came across an out of print book I was looking for. Well not actually the exact book I was looking for. A very dear friend of mine traveled several miles for me to retrive 2 books for me. But alas when he got there, there was only one left. So he did purchase the second book of the series. Well today while browsing I found the first book and the third book combined with the second book all in one. How nice is that. And to top it off in mint condition dust jacket included. (I hate dust jackets but they are valuable from what I gather) Also I got a neat book called The Power of Myth. As well as a pair of shorts and a pair of pants at Goodwill. Overall it was a fun shopping day.

Goodbye
After all the shopping my mom decided it was time to leave. She has a big billard party to attend in Va. tonight. I hope she has a great time and shoots well. It was very nice to see her even if it was only for a day.

The Pain
Well I have managed to do it again. I have had an ongoing problem with my shoulder for the past 5 years or so. I believe it to be a pinched or damaged nerve. Definitaly a nerve not muscle. The pain starts in the center of my shoulder (in the joint) and does a lovely dance down around my bicep and into my forearm and ends at my thumb. But also it spirals up to the back of my ear. Amd now it is also spreading across my back and into the right side of my spine. I have started taking Aleeve again and am mousing with my left hand and typing mostly with the left hand and did not do any weights with my arms for 2 days now. (I know I know awful grammitical structure)

Time to flip the laundry and such....probably no more blogging for today to much stuff to do.

posted by Lady_Indigo 4:40 PM

My mom is here !!!!
Yeah my mommy came to visit me!!! I took her to the Y with me tonight. I only did the treadmill for 10 min and the EFX for 25 min. I am up to 36lbs on the hip adductor (press out) and 54lbs in the hip abductor (press in) ( keep forgetting to check which one is which). Wow I can't believe how much strength I have gain in 2 weeks.

Just for Joe
Today's lesson....OPTIMISM

Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right, that is wrong.
Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)

There is an optimism which nobly anticipates the eventual triumph of great moral laws, and there is an optimism which cheerfully tolerates unworthiness.
Agnes Repplier

And a link for your pleasure as well Webster's Bookstore

Good night Joe I hope you are feeling better tomorrow :-)

posted by Lady_Indigo 8:02 PM

Today is my sweet Camblina's birthday!!!
He had a wonderful little party. He is currently playing with all the fine gifts he recieved. Steve is currently working on Cam's computer. Yeah!!! No more Lego games on my pc. All of his games will now be on his computer!!!!!! Oh how nice this will be. And not to mention that his comp. will be in his room. Therefore he will stop hogging up my desk with cases and the such.

I fell asleep
I fell asleep halfway through the party. I was already very tired and then I had a lovely exotic berry b&j wine cooler. It put me right out. I slept for over 3 hrs. It is time to go to the Y in a bit. Haley is coming with me tonight so she can go swimming while I workout. I have gone every night this week. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to keep up with my excersising while I am on vacation. There is a Y but I think it is an hour away. So that is pretty much out of the question. I could ride my bike around the camp ground. That is probably the most likely solution. I haven't eaten very well today. I had 1/2 of a fudge dipped granola bar, then a piece of cake plus I had a pack of crackers this morning. That is about an extra 600 calories. Eeeks!!! I will definitaly have to workout longer tonight.

Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors as I am still very sleepy and do not care about it very much at the momment.

An Update on the little boy who died
The news paper article.

posted by Lady_Indigo 6:58 PM